Future Map

I stepped into my room and glared at the bed. I was really tired and figured I should try to sleep, but knew I wouldn’t be able to. Why? Well, for one, it was only midnight, and I hardly ever go to bed that early. And that night there was so much going through my mind. God was reminding me of so many words that I had gotten over the years, and I couldn’t keep them from clogging my thoughts.

“Lord, I’ve gotten so much insight on what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, and yet none of it seems to amount to something definite. There’s no solid plan or line of instruction. What’s up with that?” I guess God’s a bit adventurous, and yeah, I am too, but it at least be nice to have some sort of plan.

People ask me all the time, “So, what do you want to do?"

I’d love to answer, “Oh, I’m going to be a doctor.” Or, “A missionary to Uganda.”

But my answer seems a little more… complicated. I know tons about what I’ll be doing, but I have no clue what that is.

I decided to forget the bed for then and grabbed a piece of paper. I wanted to try and add most of the major words (and things God’s told me personally) about what I’m going to be doing with my life together and sort of “map out” what it might look like. This is what I came up with:

Things I’m Completely Sure About My Future

• My main focus will be on my family. I’m going to be a great wife and mom.
• I'm called to youth ministry.
• I’m a writer. Stories and songs, mainly. I can put my heart on paper like only some can.
• I’ll always be a worship leader at heart, and probably be leading in one way or another for the rest of my life. Music will always be a big part of me.
• I’ll do quite a bit of traveling, and I have a huge heart for cities. I'll probably travel alot because of my ministry. I’ll still have a place I consider my home church.
• I have a deep hunger to sneak God's light into dark, dark places. Light gives shadows no place to hide. Example: April 5th, 2009 - Los Angeles red light district - street corner at 3 a.m. - transvestites, prostitutes, and drugs... me, a guitar, and Holy Spirit. That makes me come alive.
  
• I’m an intercessor. And a feeler. I have alot of authority.
• I have a really awesome, yet, strange ability to adapt to any circumstance or people group. I can bloom wherever God plants me. And almost everyone gets along with me because of this.
• I have a Jonathan-like spirit. I have a gift of seeing things in people and being able to help pull them out. I’m an empowerer. I’m able and willing to sacrifice my all for others, especially those I’m in covenant with. I’m a servant. And like David, everything in me comes from intimacy with God, but I also have the dare-devil boldness of Jonathan, like when he turned to his armor bearer and said (paraphrased), “See that army? Come on, you and me, we can take ‘em!" The man I marry will have a David-like spirit.
  
• I have a Debra-like spirit. I carry alot of influence. People will naturally look to me for advice, comfort, and help. I’ll have the opportunity to speak into many people’s lives.
• I'm pastoral and very prophetic.
• I will be training people one-on-one, almost like taking on Padawan Learners, in the ways of being a feeler.
  

See what I mean? Loads of details, but no real plan. Come on, God. What is this?