Betrothed - The Music Video

My roommates (Gina and Tony DeLuca) and some friends and put this together in about a week. Loads of fun. Very humerous. Check it out:







Here's the trailer if you're interested:

Future Map

I stepped into my room and glared at the bed. I was really tired and figured I should try to sleep, but knew I wouldn’t be able to. Why? Well, for one, it was only midnight, and I hardly ever go to bed that early. And that night there was so much going through my mind. God was reminding me of so many words that I had gotten over the years, and I couldn’t keep them from clogging my thoughts.

“Lord, I’ve gotten so much insight on what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, and yet none of it seems to amount to something definite. There’s no solid plan or line of instruction. What’s up with that?” I guess God’s a bit adventurous, and yeah, I am too, but it at least be nice to have some sort of plan.

People ask me all the time, “So, what do you want to do?"

I’d love to answer, “Oh, I’m going to be a doctor.” Or, “A missionary to Uganda.”

But my answer seems a little more… complicated. I know tons about what I’ll be doing, but I have no clue what that is.

I decided to forget the bed for then and grabbed a piece of paper. I wanted to try and add most of the major words (and things God’s told me personally) about what I’m going to be doing with my life together and sort of “map out” what it might look like. This is what I came up with:

Things I’m Completely Sure About My Future

• My main focus will be on my family. I’m going to be a great wife and mom.
• I'm called to youth ministry.
• I’m a writer. Stories and songs, mainly. I can put my heart on paper like only some can.
• I’ll always be a worship leader at heart, and probably be leading in one way or another for the rest of my life. Music will always be a big part of me.
• I’ll do quite a bit of traveling, and I have a huge heart for cities. I'll probably travel alot because of my ministry. I’ll still have a place I consider my home church.
• I have a deep hunger to sneak God's light into dark, dark places. Light gives shadows no place to hide. Example: April 5th, 2009 - Los Angeles red light district - street corner at 3 a.m. - transvestites, prostitutes, and drugs... me, a guitar, and Holy Spirit. That makes me come alive.
  
• I’m an intercessor. And a feeler. I have alot of authority.
• I have a really awesome, yet, strange ability to adapt to any circumstance or people group. I can bloom wherever God plants me. And almost everyone gets along with me because of this.
• I have a Jonathan-like spirit. I have a gift of seeing things in people and being able to help pull them out. I’m an empowerer. I’m able and willing to sacrifice my all for others, especially those I’m in covenant with. I’m a servant. And like David, everything in me comes from intimacy with God, but I also have the dare-devil boldness of Jonathan, like when he turned to his armor bearer and said (paraphrased), “See that army? Come on, you and me, we can take ‘em!" The man I marry will have a David-like spirit.
  
• I have a Debra-like spirit. I carry alot of influence. People will naturally look to me for advice, comfort, and help. I’ll have the opportunity to speak into many people’s lives.
• I'm pastoral and very prophetic.
• I will be training people one-on-one, almost like taking on Padawan Learners, in the ways of being a feeler.
  

See what I mean? Loads of details, but no real plan. Come on, God. What is this?

Facebook Relationships

I glanced again at my changed relationship status. "Bre Patterson is now in a relationship with Andrew Dexter"

"Lovely," I muttered. "Why did I do that again?"

Of course, I wasn't really going out with him. I didn't even really know him. I was just playing the old facebook relationship prank.....again. And why? This time, I wasn't really sure.

Last time I had gone a little further than dating. I facebook married the dude, for goodness sake. But it was different, because Carlin Kinsley, my handsome Irish hubby, was a fictional character I created a profile for. It was fun, and really well done. For about a week I had everyone convinced we had gotten hitched over Christmas break. It was ridiculously funny. I got so many "Congratulations!" from people at school, it was almost scary. But this time it wasn't a fictional character, and this time I had photos posted with us "together." Ugh.....

It all happened rather fast, actually. We were planning on creating a fake person online, like I had done with Carlin, so he could facebook date her and freak his mom and friends out. And I was simply going to pose as this girlfriend character in a couple pictures. That sounded like fun to me. As an actress-at-heart, I always love a challenge, and this looked like a great one. He and a team of trusted friends came to my apartment right away for a quick photoshoot. But somewhere between the couch and the door, we decided it be funnier if we just changed our relationship statuses and said we were dating, and at the moment, that sounded like a really great idea. But was it?

I looked at the clock. 4:15am. Great. I have church at 8:30, and here I am worrying about facebook. And why? Does it really matter? Does it really affect me? Will church and school be weird for me now that everyone thinks I’m going out with this guy? I didn’t even wanna think about it.

Nervous about the next few days, I closed my laptop and switched off the light. I love pranks. I love acting. Everything’s going to be fine… I hope. Ugh….. I’ll find out soon enough, at least.

The Land of My Fathers

Vvvvbbbbb, vvvvbbbbb.

My phone vibrated. I checked the screen. It was my aunt. I grew up hearing her name in stories my father told of his childhood, but I had never spoken to her before. I took a deep breath before answering. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Breanna?"

"Yes, that's me."

"This is your aunt, Kathy, your dad's sister. I got your voicemail. I'm guessing you're wondering how your grandma is doing?"

I gripped the phone tighter. "Yeah, I am. Last I heard she had a heart attack. That's about all I know."

"Well, there's not much more to tell." Aunt Kathy sighed. "She's in the hospital, and she's not doing to well." Her voice quivered ever so slightly. There was a silence. "No one is expecting her to come home."

I didn't know her that well, but I could hear the sadness in her voice, and I understood it. The connection that I felt with her surprised me. Yes, we were both losing someone close to us, she a mother and I a grandmother, but I had never even had contact with my family. Not the family on my dad's side at least. And not because I didn't want to, but because distance had always separated us.

My father was born and raised in Modesto, CA. He moved to Delaware before starting a family, so my siblings and I were raised at the other side of the country. But now things had shifted. College brought me back to the Golden State, the land of my father and grandfather, and now I was only a bus trip away from my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmother. A group of people that shared a last name, a heritage, and a bloodline . . . but I had never met them.

I held the phone without speaking a word. I couldn't decide if it was an akward silence, or two family members sharing a moment, mourning together. Perhaps it was a mix of both.

What makes a family? Will I ever truly know?